[ random acts of alex ]

Moving

2008-07-18T03:52:00.001+02:00

For those who don't know, I moved out of Germany this July and will be headed to Yokosuka, Japan this August. Right this second my life is getting turned around all over the place, so that's one of the many reasons I haven't been keeping up with this site.

I'm still teaching high school English, just now it'll be on a naval base rather than an Army post. Different continent, too.

Just thought maybe you'd like to know (if you didn't already).

Pulp Fiction at the Globe Theatre

2008-04-19T18:04:00.004+02:00

ceruleanst gives us two passages of William Shakespeare's Pulp Fiction:

ACT I SCENE 2.
A road, morning. Enter a carriage, with JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

J: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
V: What say they then, pray?
J: Hachis Parmentier.
V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
J: Cream is but cream, only they say le crème.
V: What do they name black pudding?
J: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought....

J: My pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: How passing strange, for I have traveled far,
And never have I heard tell of this What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: The Queen's own English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?

JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat

J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?

JULES strikes and BRETT cries out

J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou hoped to rape him like a chattel whore,
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With anyone but she to whom he wed.

Spring Break in Dublin

2008-04-13T10:28:00.012+02:00

Finally an update to this site!

Many people when they think of Spring Break, they think beaches, sun, tans and good times. Not me. I think cold, overcast, pasty and good times. Dublin fits the bill.

Now I'd never been to Ireland before, so all I really knew was its supposed to be filled with red heads with really cute accents. Not true. In fact it took quite awhile before I actually heard anyone speak with a strong Irish accent. Seemed like all I heard were Eastern European, Asian, and weak Irish accents. And redheads? Most seemed to come out of a bottle.

But that's modern Europe for you. The major cities are magnets for immigrants and multinational corporations to the point where, aside from the street signs and the landmarks, they all seem the same in many ways.

But that's not to say that I didn't like Dublin. I enjoyed it very much. But it wasn't the Dublin I'd thought of when I listened to those early U2 albums or watched The Committments.

Highlights included:

The Dublin Bus City Tour: I recommend taking a bus tour anytime you show up in a new city just so you can get the lay of the land. The Dublin version is better than most. Get a multi-day pass where you can just hop on and off and you're all set. The drivers give live commentary, and for the most part are extremely entertaining. The second driver I was with was hilarious. When we got stuck in a huge traffic jam, he digressed into improvised talks about the local economy, sports, and even tried to convince us to just go ahead and get off the bus and head for a pub rather than be stuck in traffic. Some took him up on the offer, but I sat it out because I was learning more about Dublin listening to him than I did from any guidebook I could buy.

The Guinness Storehouse: The top tourist attraction in Dublin, and for the most part worth it. The museum is self-guided and located right next to the place where Guinness is brewed. Even if you're not a fan of the drink, it was interesting learning about its history. And if you are a fan of the drink, the best part is the free pint at the end of the tour that you get to step up to the bar taps and pour yourself. The restuarant at the end of the tour is also top-notch with a commanding view of Dublin.
Kilmainham Gaol: This was the most sobering part of my trip. This is the infamous Dublin jail where thousands suffered incredibly cruel treatment, and during the Easter Rising of 1916, many of the rebel leaders were held and executed. Only downside is that its by guided tour only, which might not give enough time to sit and reflect on what you're seeing. Also has an extensive museum.
The 1916 Easter Rising Walking Tour: One thing I was very interested in knowing more about was the Irish revolution. After a little research, I found out about this great walking tour that gives a fairly detailed overview of what led up to the uprising in 1916 and what exactly happened. It was a facinating 2 1/2 hour college lecture on the streets of Dublin. I highly recommend this if you ever visit the city.

The Musical Pub Crawl: This was the best part of the trip. Essentially two Irish musicians take you around to a few pubs and teach you about traditional Irish music while you listen and drink beer. Sounds simple, right? It was much better than I thought it would be. The two guys who led the tour were extremely talented, funny, and passionate about what it is they do. Halfway through the night, a fiddle player showed up and was invited to join in. For the price of a couple of beers you got to interact with some folks who at most of the bars in the area would just be behind microphones ignoring the audience. These guys had no mikes and truly wanted group to join in with the songs and learn about their craft. At the end, they recommended pubs outside the touristy area where they knew good sessions were going to be played until the wee hours. If I ever go back to Dublin, the musical pub crawl is the one thing I will absolutely do again. Maybe on two different nights.

Click here to see other pics and some short video clips from the trip.

Wedding Bells

2007-01-07T13:05:00.000+01:00

Actually, there were no bells. There was no "Wedding March." No rice. No Best Man or Maid of Honor. No tossing of the bouquet or first dance.

But there were a couple of "I do"s. And there was a "you may kiss your bride."

The wedding of the year happened on December 28th at the Rio Rio Cantina on the Riverwalk in downtown San Antonio. Specifically it happened that evening on the balcony overlooking the river with thirty close friends and family looking on as Marcela and I held hands, listened to what the officiant had to say about our new lives together, and began a marriage we hope will make both of us happier than we could be apart.

If you'd like to see several photos from the festivities, an online gallery is available.

The PS3 Freak Frenzy

2006-11-17T22:40:00.000+01:00

If you stood in a line all night, camped out for a week, or stampeded your way through the door of a Best Buy or Wal-mart because you couldn't wait to get your hands on a PS3, consider yourself a part of the problem, not the solution. When we talk about "those people" ruining it for the rest of us -- When we talk about "those people" who just don't get it -- When we talk about "those people" who should (oh, I don't know) die in a fire... well, we now mean you.

Just when I think there's a shred of hope for humanity, an overpriced video game system comes out to set me straight.

Election 2006

2006-11-08T06:06:00.000+01:00

I'm Huge In The Sudan

2006-07-16T22:29:00.000+02:00

Scroll down about a third through this page.

You'll see one of my old short stories posted on what I think is a Sudanese website.

Yep, knocked me out of my chair.

Doing a little more searching, I found the same story, "A Sometimes Beautiful Thing," mentioned on a few more sites:

Several years ago someone calling himself "Joe in China" got in touch with me to let me know he'd read my story in that Chinese textbook. Guess someone else has a copy of it, too.

Know who doesn't have a copy of that textbook?

ME!

Not that I'm bitter or anything...

Butt! Butt!!

2006-07-10T11:48:00.000+02:00

You know if you or I ever did what Zidane did last night at our workplace, we could hardly expect a pat on the back from the boss.

Right?

But not in the eyes of FIFA. In spite of a vicious attack on another player in front of a billion people around the world, Zidane has just been named the World Cup's best player.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe if I headbutt a kid in one of my classes once August rolls around, someone who just won't behave himself, I could just possibly end up Teacher of the Year.

Or maybe not.

10-D

2006-07-10T10:16:00.000+02:00

Most people have a firm grasp of 3-D because, well, we're living in a 3-D world. Some people also realize that there's a 4th dimension - Time - and don't have to strain to hard imagining Time as a straight line moving from one point (the past) to another point (the future).

But what about dimensions 5 through 10?

10?

Spend a few minutes watching this presentation and try and wrap your head around it.

Don't Wanna Be Like Mike

2006-07-07T10:41:00.000+02:00

Just think of what life would be like if you resembled a famous celebrity -- for instance, Michael Jordan.

Must not be all that great.

Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

2006-07-05T11:32:00.000+02:00

Dorky Cool

2006-07-04T20:26:00.000+02:00

Check out this video of someone performing live the first level of the Mario Brothers game.

Italy vs. USA

2006-06-18T14:39:00.000+02:00

Last night was amazing. My only other experience being at a bigtime soccer match was seeing Charlton vs. Leeds in the English Premier League three years ago. That was nothing compared to being surrounded by passionate Italians and Americans cheering on their teams in the biggest sporting event in the world.

Before kickoff, I wandered down the FanFest zone (that's the stadium up above) to see how different it would be on a gameday compared to my two visits last week. Huge difference. The streets were packed with all sorts of characters. I’d wondered how strong the USA support would be compared to the Italians. I’m proud to say Americans were out in force and were noticeably more energetic and enthusiastic than the supporters in blue.

Both sets of fans were sporting flags of every size. Almost made me wish I’d brought mine. Instead I settled for a red, white & blue scarf, and after realizing that I could spend forever in the crowded FanFest and not accomplish anything, I headed to the stadium up on the hill overlooking Kaiserslautern.

Once getting past security and buying some eats, I settled into my seat (which was in a great spot, in my opinion), and eased into the atmosphere. At first I was a little uncomfortable because I was mainly surrounded by Italians decked out in blue, including one guy to my right who insisted on waving his flag no matter how many times it hit others around him in the face. There were plenty of Americans around, though, with flags of their own. A huge Stars and Stripes was unflurled in the rows beneath me and passed around, surprising, and perhaps shaming, some of the Italians who had nothing similar.

Once the game kicked off, it soon became apparent that the American team weren’t just there to make up the numbers. They’d come to play, and in fact dominated the action early on. The Italians quickly grew quieter and quieter as they saw the Americans playing with passion and confidence, and their own players having to resort to cheap shots and faking injuries.

Perhaps most surprising was how strong the American support was in the stands. I have no idea how the tickets were divided up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that stadium weren’t split at least 60-40 in favor of the USA. And the Americans were by far the more vocal, singing nearly non-stop through the entire game even when the refs seemed determined to make sure America would not have an historic victory over Italy. Every once in awhile the Italians around me tried to start chanting “Italia… Italia…,” and one Italian stood up defiantly against the large group of Americans behind me when the second American player was ejected from the game, but was quickly drowned out by a roar of “USA! USA!” from all the Americans in that side of the stadium. It was inspiring, even to me, so I can imagine what it must have felt like to the players down on the field to realize they had so much support from their countrymen. It seemed to work, because the American team played well beyond the Italians with a determination not to lose, even though they were playing with one less teammate on the field.

In the end, the USA earned a draw, though if the ref had kept the teams numbers even on the field, American could very well have won that game. They’ve never once won a World Cup match in Europe and have never beaten the Italians in ten tries. They were so close last night, and even with a draw, most of the American supporters left feeling pretty good about their team. I know I was pretty happy, though probably looking a bit drained, too.

Later this week I get to go to another World Cup match: Saudi Arabia vs. Spain. I’m throwing my support in with the Spaniards, but I already know that no matter what happens in that game, it cannot come near what happened last night. That is unless the Saudis somehow pull off a huge upset. More about that next weekend.

Videos from the night:

Video 1: Right before kick-off and the Americans are making lots of noise.
Video 2: The end of the Nationa Anthem and the Americans behind me.
Video 3: Action from the first half and the Italian supporters trying to make a little noise.
Video 4: The Americans making much more noise early in the first half.
Video 5: Very happy fans in blue when Italy scored.
Video 6: Short clip of the USA tying the match.
Video 7: The Americans go nuts after the goal.
Video 8: The second half and the Italians are pretty glum.
Video 9: Short clip when we almost scored late in the second half (and me forgetting I was filming).
Video 10: End of the match and a very cheesy song.

Should Have Asked Him To Recite The Pledge Of Allegiance, Too

2006-06-16T17:47:00.000+02:00

Check out this short clip of Stephen Colbert asking Congressman Lynn Westmoreland a few questions about his bill to require the Ten Commandments to be posted in courthouses.

Politicians like Westmoreland cannot solve real problems, much less master the basics of the pseudo-issues they choose to deal with. Betcha anything he's also against gay marriage and wants the next amendment to the Constitution to ban flag burning, yet has never seen a flag being burned in person, and never spoken to someone who is gay and wants to be married to the person they love. I'd further venture that he has no solution to global warming, the war in Iraq, high gas prices, or fixing the health care system in America.

Whoever is running against him in the next election better play that clip over and over on a huge television screen in downtown wherever the hell he comes from. If that doesn't cause a landslide against Westmoreland, nothing will.

World Cup Tickets

2006-06-15T20:09:00.000+02:00

Much like the rest of the world, I've been watching the World Cup slowly unfold this week. Each night I've come home from work to eagerly watch whichever nations were going at it at one of the stadiums around Germany. It's been great.

Up until tonight I had one ticket to see one game: Spain vs. Saudi Arabia in Kaiserslautern on the 23rd with I bought online a few months ago. Wasn't my first choice (I support England, for the record), but still I was happy to land that ticket and get in to see even just one of the games.

But I'd also put myself into the conditional ticket lottery to see if I could get a last minute seat at another game. I figured I might as well give it a shot, even though tickets are pretty hard to come by. Since I put in my application, I've been waiting a number of weeks to see if my name would get chosen, and happily tonight it has.

Just got an email letting me know Ihave a ticket to see the USA vs. Italy this Saturday night in Kaiserslautern. The ironic thing is I was just in Kaiserslautern a couple of nights ago trying to get a last minute ticket down by the stadium. Luckily I didn't get a chance to buy one.

So sure the USA will probably get slaughtered by Italy, but it'll still be great to be there in the stands cheering them on and just being at a World Cup game.

Now I just have to decide if I want to buy a USA jersey or... an England one.

How Could You Not Love These Guys?

2006-05-23T19:22:00.000+02:00

This was Germany's entry into the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest. I thought they were great.

10 Things I Hate About Commandments

2006-05-18T18:00:00.000+02:00

Do They Want My Grocery Receipts, Too?

2006-05-17T19:59:00.000+02:00

As far as this whole domestic spying program that Bush and the NSA are running goes, the part that most upsets me is that they are trying to sell the American public on the whole load of bull story that they're still protecting our privacy because no names or addresses are attached to the billions of records they've collected.

Do they think we are morons? How hard would it be to look up these phone numbers and who they belong to? Hell, I can check out a phone number on Google in less than 10 seconds. Why gather these records in the first place and search through them if it wasn't possible to put names to the phone calls? Protecting our privacy? What privacy?

And since they already lied back in December and January when they said there was no tracking of phone calls within the US, who wants to believe them when they claim they're not listening in on phone calls now? Go ahead and assume that at anytime you're on the phone, someone is listening in. Or it is being stored in another massive database for later listening pleasure.

Scary, huh? But not beyond the realm of possibility. In fact, firmly planted within it.

The Daily Show has a pretty good bit on this whole thing. You can view it here.

Wedding Plans

2006-05-15T16:21:00.000+02:00

So you may or may not know that Marcela and I are getting married at the end of this year. Still very happy about that, but what we're both not too thrilled about is the planning of the whole affair. Our big problem is that the place we want to get married at, a bed & breakfast called the Inn at Craig Place in San Antonio, may or may not be around come the end of the year. The folks running Craig Place won't book anything more than three months in advance, which leaves us with either hoping that it'll be available once the end of September rolls around, or we have to choose someplace else.

Then, even if we get the B&B we want, we'll have to limit our guest list because they just won't handle a big crowd. While we never wanted a large wedding in the first place, we also don't want to upset anyone in either family.

All-in-all it feels like we're just spinning our wheels, because it is so hard to plan anything having to do with a wedding if you have no idea where it'll be.

So, if anyone reading this has any advice to share, or any other ideas on where to hold a non-religious and not-too-expensive wedding in the south Texas/San Antonio area, we're very much open to hearing it. You can just email me at alex@mauldin.com with anything you'd like to add to the discussion.

Thank You Stephen Colbert

2006-05-05T20:54:00.000+02:00

In case you haven't seen Stephen Colbert rip Bush apart for twenty minutes while standing just ten feet away from the guy, you absolutely must go to Thank You Stephen Colbert and watch the clips. It is incredible.

Stephen Colbert is my new hero.

An Atheist Lets Loose

2006-04-30T11:48:00.000+02:00

Sam Harris, author of The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason, has posted an Atheist Manifesto. It begins:

Somewhere in the world a man has abducted a little girl. Soon he will rape, torture and kill her. If an atrocity of this kind is not occurring at precisely this moment, it will happen in a few hours, or days at most. Such is the confidence we can draw from the statistical laws that govern the lives of 6 billion human beings. The same statistics also suggest that this girl s parents believe at this very moment that an all-powerful and all-loving God is watching over them and their family. Are they right to believe this? Is it good that they believe this?

No.

The entirety of atheism is contained in this response. Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply a refusal to deny the obvious. Unfortunately, we live in a world in which the obvious is overlooked as a matter of principle. The obvious must be observed and re-observed and argued for. This is a thankless job. It carries with it an aura of petulance and insensitivity. It is, moreover, a job that the atheist does not want.

It is worth noting that no one ever needs to identify himself as a non-astrologer or a non-alchemist. Consequently, we do not have words for people who deny the validity of these pseudo-disciplines. Likewise, atheism is a term that should not even exist. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make when in the presence of religious dogma. The atheist is merely a person who believes that the 260 million Americans (87% of the population) who claim to never doubt the existence of God should be obliged to present evidence for his existence and, indeed, for his benevolence, given the relentless destruction of innocent human beings we witness in the world each day. Only the atheist appreciates just how uncanny our situation is: Most of us believe in a God that is every bit as specious as the gods of Mount Olympus; no person, whatever his or her qualifications, can seek public office in the United States without pretending to be certain that such a God exists; and much of what passes for public policy in our country conforms to religious taboos and superstitions appropriate to a medieval theocracy. Our circumstance is abject, indefensible and terrifying. It would be hilarious if the stakes were not so high.

We live in a world where all things, good and bad, are finally destroyed by change. Parents lose their children and children their parents. Husbands and wives are separated in an instant, never to meet again. Friends part company in haste, without knowing that it will be for the last time. This life, when surveyed with a broad glance, presents little more than a vast spectacle of loss. Most people in this world, however, imagine that there is a cure for this. If we live rightly—not necessarily ethically, but within the framework of certain ancient beliefs and stereotyped behaviors—we will get everything we want after we die. When our bodies finally fail us, we just shed our corporeal ballast and travel to a land where we are reunited with everyone we loved while alive. Of course, overly rational people and other rabble will be kept out of this happy place, and those who suspended their disbelief while alive will be free to enjoy themselves for all eternity.

We live in a world of unimaginable surprises--from the fusion energy that lights the sun to the genetic and evolutionary consequences of this lights dancing for eons upon the Earth--and yet Paradise conforms to our most superficial concerns with all the fidelity of a Caribbean cruise. This is wondrously strange. If one didn’t know better, one would think that man, in his fear of losing all that he loves, had created heaven, along with its gatekeeper God, in his own image.

Read the rest here.

It's Got A Good Beat And You Can Dance To It

2006-04-27T18:45:00.000+02:00

Hyperactive is one guy, a webcam, his mouth, and too much time on his hands.

On a not-so-similar-vein, there's also Dance, Monkeys, Dance which tells you what you probably already know, but are too afraid to admit: you're a monkey.

I Was As Surprised As Anyone

2006-04-26T17:03:00.000+02:00

Why I Have Yet To Publish The Great American Novel

2006-04-25T17:18:00.000+02:00

Someone inside the publishing industry has posted a very detailed look at how books make (or don't make) money.

An interesting read, especially for tidbits like:

The big bookselling outlet corporations have to "buy" the book from us. They get a discount that varies wildly, but the average is about 40% off the cover price, so let's say that the bookselling outlet corporations (aka "the trade", which is also sometimes known in this essay and in casual meetings as "direct" -- any place that specializes in books and also sometimes coffee) "pay" us $4.19 per book.

This is not real money. They don't actually give us money until well after the book is on the shelves. This is common in publishing -- no one pays until they have to! For anything! Ever! Not until we submit an invoice threatening lawsuits, or whatever. Someone else can tell you about that, since I know pretty much nothing.

Also, a small note (jumping ahead a little) -- mass market paperbacks that don't sell used to get stripped and pulped -- their covers torn off and the insides made into goo. Now, or so I am told, the whole book is destroyed. Usually, by the time this happens, the bookseller has already paid for the book. So the bookseller returns an affadavit (formerly known as "the book's cover") to the publisher's warehouse, and receives a credit, good for use on any other books, instead of paying with cash, and the book is counted as a "return" -- even though it doesn't get returned and it can't be shipped out again. This doesn't happen to hardcovers.

Now I can sleep at night.

Clear The Dance Floor

2006-04-24T20:49:00.000+02:00

The other day, with as straight a face as I could muster, I told some of my students that my new favorite band was The Books. I had two of their albums, Lost and Safe and Thought for Food, queued up on the iPod, and I wasn't afraid to play them.

"What do they sound like?'

Oh, I can't wait to show you.

The Books specialize in a music of collages and random rhythms, with a few disembodied voices mixed in just to spice things up a bit. Their songs have titles such as "A Dead Fish Gains the Power of Observation" and "Smells Like Content," and chances are you don't have anything else like them in your music collection. Why? Because mainstream radio and MTV would never come near them with a 10-foot stick o' pop culture.

As one reviewer put it, and I totally agree, you should listen to one of their albums at night with headphones and the light of a flickering TV.

The Books didn't go over too well with my students. But then I played Kelly Clarkson and they were happy again.

If The Books are a little too strange or scary-sounding for you, I'm also listening to much safer choices such as The Editors ("Munich" is a great single, besides being a kick ass city) and a couple of songs off the new Panic! at the Disco album, "The Only Difference Between" and "I Write Sins Not Tragedies."

The Sunday Dump

2006-04-23T10:37:00.000+02:00

Here are this weekend's links:

PimpMySnack: Giant, homemade versions of your favorite candies. My favorite: Giant M&M.
It's Jerry Time!: Awesome online show that got nominated for an Emmy. Start with Episode 1 and work your way up.
Solutions Luggage: If you've ever worried that you might get charged extra for the weight of your suitcase at check-in, worry no more.
Ron Mueck Gallery: Gallery of some of the incredibly life-like sculptures of Ron Mueck (some images contain nudity -- just so you know!). Another gallery of some of his work here and yet another here.

Jack And Coke

2006-04-21T17:46:00.000+02:00

Jack White of The White Stripes has lent his considerable talent to a Coca-Cola commercial. While some may disagree, I personally don't have a problem with this. If writing jingles was good enough for Barry Manilow, it is certainly good enough for Mr. White.

Hell Of A Commute

2006-04-19T20:44:00.000+02:00

I Still Don't, But Some People Do

2006-04-18T18:31:00.000+02:00

Almost three years ago, I posted about what some people hate, but I don't.

(Wow. Almost three years ago. I've been doing this way too long.)

And you know what? Three years later, I still have nothing but love for all things great and small. Puppies. Coca-Cola. Amazon.com. Cilantro.

Yes, that's right. Some people hate cilantro, but I don't.

Trade Ya

2006-04-17T16:41:00.000+02:00

So I have lots of things lying around the house, which, up until now, I felt held little value. Things like a Q-tip. A beer cap. A half-used pencil. A cat.

And true, they lack a certain something. For instance, the color red.

There's a guy out there, named Kyle MacDonald, who has taken a plain, red paperclip, figuring correctly that it would have value to someone, and has decided to use that as a starting point in a series of trades up to a new house. He started out on craigslist with his red paperclip, and just worked his way up from there toward a home.

Surprisingly enough, he's nearly there.

He's got a website going called, not-surprisingly enough, one red paperclip, where you can read more about what he's up to, and if you have a spare house lying around, perhaps make a trade.

The Sunday Dump

2006-04-16T09:37:00.000+02:00

In my bookmarks, I've got a folder where I put sites that I come across that I think are interesting and might make a good post later on. That folder can get stuffed with all kinds of randomness after just a few weeks. So every once in awhile, I'll go through the folder and either delete the one's that I no longer think are that great anymore, or I'll just dump a whole bunch of them on here in one go.

Here's one of those dumps.

Enjoy.

Beatbox Rahzel: This guy's video has been online a couple of years, but it is still very impressive.
Steve, Don't Eat It!: Hilarious, if also sometimes vulgar, series where a guy dares himself to eat some pretty gross stuff. Starts with potted meat, but then quickly works his way up (or down) to some of what the rest of the world might deem a delicacy, but would make a typical American retch.
Bound by Law?: Free comic book about the true story of one filmmaker's struggle to make a documentary in today's overly copyrighted world.
Turn Your Head: Make your next gift a very personalized optical illusion (now offering a Mother's Day special!).
A cover of Radiohead's "Just": Free download of the video for Mark Ronson's cover of a Radiohead classic.

Whatever You Do, Don't Click On China

2006-04-15T15:13:00.000+02:00

I'm not sure how accurate this is, but someone has posted a real-time population counter, sorted by country.

Just click on your nation of choice and watch people be born, people die, and what the adjusted population is. Even tells you the age and gender of the birth or death. Estimated, of course.

Surprising stat for me: over 28 million people in Nepal. I would have guessed 2 million, tops.

Alex Mauldin: Film Aficionado

2006-04-14T17:12:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I got this email from a former student (hope he doesn't mind me posting it):

Good day, Mr. Mauldin,

I pray this letter finds you in good spirits and that today's endeavors bear something of an advantage to your person. I hope thou wouldst remember me, professor. No less than three years ago I sat in your very class, basking in thou's astute tutelage.

Mr. Mauldin, I write with an agenda in mind. You dubbed yourself a film buff, quite the aficionado if I may. I author this correspendonce in the hopes that you might, perhaps, recommend a few particularly interesting movies that thou art keen on.

It is my personal goal to watch as many great films as possible, and inquiring on any implication you might have would certainly place me on the correct path.

If thou wouldst grant me this small request, I would be indebted to you.

Respectfully,

Yep, I've had some real gems in my classes over the years.

Now being Mr. Helpful, I encouraged him to check out the AFI list of top 100 movies. Short. Simple.

But then I got to thinking -- maybe he needed a more focused list. What the AFI Top 100 covers is a pretty broad range of genres, tastes, and decades. So... in the hopes of giving my former charge the type of individualized and focused attention he so surely deserves, here are a few more lists that he, or anyone else, can use to find that oh-so-special movie for the Easter weekend.

The IMDB top 250: A list that leans very heavily toward what a typical white male in the 20-40 years age range would pick. So yes, I've seen most of those movies more than once.
Best Western Films: If you're into cowboys and what they did to the indigenous natives of the North American continent, you'll find a family friendly list of good flicks here.
Top 10 Chinese Martial Arts Movies: Heeee-YAH!
Best Horror Movies: Because nothing says Easter better than popping one of these in the dvd player.
100 Most Daring Movies Ever Made: Listed in alphabetical order, which doesn't strike me as being all that daring. Pick a #1, for pete sakes!
Top 50 Cult Movies: When I think of a cult movie, I think of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. So how the @%$&! is The Shawshank Redemption a cult movie?
Ten Black Films Worth Watching: According to Christians, so you know it's ok.
Top ten '80s movies: According to British women, so you know it's ok.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

2006-04-14T17:07:00.000+02:00

Everyonce in awhile I check my web counter stats to see not only how many people have visited this site, but also how they came to get here. One of the counters I use shows me the search term that was used, and even though most of the time those terms are tame, like "visiting trier" or "prom hair styles," occasionally I get a peak at the wierder corners of my visitors' minds.

Today's highlight: someone used Yahoo earlier this morning searching for "beastiality in the philippines." Stranger still, that search somehow brought them here, and I don't know why.

I Got The Blues

2006-04-13T11:59:00.000+02:00

It is Thursday of my Spring Break, and that's got me down. Problem is I'm white, and white people aren't supposed to get the blues. As George Carlin put it, we're supposed to give people the blues, not have them.

Besides, isn't it kinda odd to be a fan of the blues in the first place?

"Excuse me sir, but if you don't mind me asking, why are you a fan of the blues?"

"I don't know. I guess I really just enjoy listening to depressing stuff about my lover cheating on me or losing my job. Gets me out of those troublesome happy moods."

That's exactly why I must fight the urge to spend any more time on the following sites. No more blues for me, but you're welcome to click away.

Desktopblues: Is this what Moby does in his spare time?
House of Blues: I didn't know Nine Inch Nails or Taking Back Sunday qualified as the blues. Or The Go-Go's. But then again, if a vacation is all you ever wanted, maybe that would get you down.
Baby Blues: I clicked through some of the comics in their archive, but the distinct lack of funny made me even more depressed.
BluesNet: The "longest-running blues site on the Web" hasn't been updated in four years. Maybe the webmaster is too depressed to type.
Genghis Blues: Raise your hand if you've seen this film. Hell, raise your hand if you've even heard of it. Something tells me the film makers have got the blues.
Blues & Blues: I think this is an Italian blues website, but I'm not sure because I can't read blues.
Sapphire - The Uppity Blues Women: I'm not sure if they're any good or not. I just really like the word "uppity."

Need Some Cute?

2006-04-12T14:08:00.000+02:00

Well, here you go.

Missed Opportunity

2006-04-10T22:36:00.000+02:00

Mr. and Mrs. Paltrow really missed a great opportunity. Instead of naming their new kid "Moses," they should have gone with "Orange." That way when Apple asks one day which of the two mommy and daddy love more, Gwyn could have said...

"I really can't compare you two."

Issues

2006-04-08T12:07:00.000+02:00

Franklin 1 - Marcela 0

2006-03-25T23:16:00.000+01:00

Marcela has been here for about a week now, and while we both feel she's made great inroads in her relationship with Franklin, after watching this short video clip, you'll probably agree there's still a fair way to go.

Don't Even Think About Pinching Me

2006-03-17T12:40:00.000+01:00

George Lucas - Eat Your Heart Out

2006-03-16T22:28:00.000+01:00

This is sadly better than just about anything in the last three Star Wars movies.

Click here if the video above doesn't play.

Beware The Ides Of March

2006-03-15T16:42:00.000+01:00

Sure everyone knows Julius Caesar was perforated on this date back in 44 B.C., but do you know what the "ides" are? Like most things in life, the answer can easily be found online. You can thank me later.

As sad as that date is, even sadder is the fact that I missed out on celebrating World Pi Day yesterday. Then again I have a hard time knowing when St Patrick's Day is, much less a holiday celebrating "the mathematical constant that has beguiled and bewildered successive generations of numerate scholars since the days of ancient Babylon. "

On that note: am I supposed to wear green tomorrow? When is St. Patrick's Day? How does that work?

I'll Have The Usual

2006-03-13T11:00:00.000+01:00

May I take your order? - Hilarious Chinese restaurant menu where you can order one of my personal favorites: Ginger Bumping Milk.

Yep, nothing tops off a day like a nice hot cup of Ginger Bumping Milk.

Frosty Fairy Tale Land

2006-03-12T11:59:00.000+01:00

The "fairy tale" castle Neuschwanstein in a snow covered landscape in Schwangau, Bavaria last week.

Upcoming Office

2006-03-12T10:09:00.000+01:00

Microsoft is coming out with a new version of their Office suite. In a Word, it looks like Microsoft has a new Outlook on life. While it might not meet everyone's expectations, I'm sure it'll Excel in the marketplace, offering the user much more flexibility and Power, pointing the way to the future of desktop office productivity.

You can find out more here.

Not All In Common Sense

2006-03-11T18:24:00.000+01:00

Some people seem to be coming to their senses.

Others maybe not.

But for god's sake, don't blame the children.

Chip In

2006-03-09T11:30:00.000+01:00

Ever wonder what you could do to make the world a better place? Ever want to help, but not sure where or how?

Ever ask yourself, "So what can I do?"

Ask no longer.

One Of These Days...

2006-03-06T18:55:00.000+01:00

I'm gonna have me one of these.

The Beckhams Meet Ali G

2006-03-04T14:48:00.000+01:00

Paris At Night

2006-03-04T13:09:00.000+01:00

A 360 degrees around version.

As I Was Saying

2006-03-03T17:06:00.000+01:00

So yesterday I wrote about how we had the two-hour delay that got turned into a school cancelation. Today was more interesting.

We had no delay this morning, although the roads around here were treacherous. The bases in this area all closed their schools for the day, but not Baumholder. Nope, the roads up there (thirty minutes north of where I live) were in much better condition early in the morning, and so the go-ahead was given to have school start on time.

Big mistake.

It took me an hour or so to get to school in the morning, mainly because I was crawling along on the backroads from here and the autobahn. Everything was caked in ice, though sure enough, once I got closer to Baumholder, the road conditions improved substantially. So fine. I made it in one piece.

But then the snow came. And came. And came some more. A couple of hours or so into the school day and it was obvious that not only shouldn't school have opened today, but we'd best high tail it out of their quick. Since I'd parked my car a few hours earlier, at least four inches had fallen and it wasn't letting up. The students were sent home at lunch time with the teachers following shortly thereafter.

What followed was an hour and forty-five minute drive home through snow, ice, and cars that weren't going to make it to their houses tonight. I've never been so tense for so long in all my life. I practically had to pry my fingers off the steering wheel when I finally pulled into my driveway and made it home.

Miesau also had quite a bit of snow while I was at work. I took a ruler out in the backyard and discovered almost eight inches had fallen since yesterday. I soon got to work shoveling those eight inches away from my driveway and sidewalk figuring it would be easier to deal with eight inches out in the street today than a foot tomorrow if it keeps snowing.

Now being the guy I am, I couldn't keep all this fun to myself. So I grabbed the camera, picked up Franklin, and took him out into those eight inches of snow in the backyard.

He was not amused.

(But I was.)

Related link:

Maybe my first post about snow in Germany (and Franklin's experiences with it) from two years ago

Back In White

2006-03-02T08:47:00.000+01:00

So I got a phone call at about 5:20 a.m. this morning. Normally that's a bad sign in a good way. What I mean is that almost surely indicates that it has snowed overnight and that there's a two-hour delay to the start of school.

Well, it got even better. Got a call a bit later saying school had been canceled for the whole day. Yippie, right? Well, no. Teachers are still expected to show up to work so we can earn our pay minus the students. Basically you are expected to risk life and limb to sit in an empty classroom, though you can wait as long as you need to before heading out if you think it's unsafe. Technically I suppose you could show up at 2:45 p.m., touch base, and then head back home.

So I was going to wait my fair share this morning because, frankly, I enjoy driving on snow about as much as Bush enjoys press conferences. But then I got another call saying that our principal has let it be known that you really don't have to come in today because it is just that bad up around the school. Here in Miesau there's about two inches or so of snow out there (here's my street this morning and the backyard), but it is still snowing. Baumholder apparently has six or more inches and it's still snowing.

Bottom line: I'll be awfully disappointed in myself if my car moves even one foot today.

Under House Arrest

2006-03-01T19:13:00.000+01:00

Well, I wasn't letting my cat, Franklin, out of the house much anyway.

That said, makes me wonder if I'm in one of the "bird flu-affected zones." My German isn't much past counting to ten, much less reading a warning notice stuck in my mailbox.

And for those who know Franklin, doesn't that picture at the top of that bird flu article look just a little like him? Just needs a little more white in the forehead.

Related link: Here Kitty, Kitty - an old post about Franklin

Sounds Familiar

2006-03-01T16:08:00.000+01:00

Guilt-Free Music

2006-02-27T19:22:00.000+01:00

Ever feel guilty about downloading music without paying for it?

Me neither.

But if you do (or even if you don't, I suppose), check out Comfort Stand. Lots of good music and all of it legally free.

Amazing

2006-02-20T17:04:00.000+01:00

Be it far from me to tell someone how to waste their time. Want to knit? Go for it. Love collecting stamps? Knock yourself out.

Want to solve 1,000,000,000 mazes? Better get started.

Actually, first you might want to run out and buy some more printer ink or toner. At about 800 pages for an average black ink cartridge, that will require somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,250,000 cartridges. At twenty bucks or so a pop for plain black for my HP printer, that will set someone back only about twenty-five million dollars to print out all of those mazes, before taxes and excluding sales.

And a billion sheets of paper, you ask? Lets say five dollars for a pack of 500 sheets. That'll only cost an additional ten million. You could always flip them over and print on the back, I suppose.

Or maybe just stick with knitting.

Found But Still Lost

2006-02-20T09:26:00.000+01:00

This story is incredible.

At least the kid is lucky now, though the state of his developing sense of morality is on shaky ground.

Politically (In)correct

2006-02-14T18:45:00.000+01:00

Want to appear insensitive in a religous sense, yet up-to-date on world events?

Buy and wear this t-shirt.

Makes a good Valentine's Day present.

Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T18:07:00.000+01:00

In case you're still looking for a card, here are a few last minute ideas.

Quick Super Bowl Ads Take

2006-02-13T20:27:00.000+01:00

This is just for Butter, by the way, since he requested it.

I sat and watched most of the Super Bowl ads online tonight, and in short: what a let down. Only a couple caught my interest, while most were either boring or cheesy (the Budweiser little horsie in the barn video causing the strongest gag reflex).

One that I did like in my own sick, little way was the Michelob Light touch football ad shown during the second quarter.

Classic line: You were open and now you are closed!

I'm not ashamed to say that cracks me up. The doc zapping the fly in the Ameriquest: Hospital video also garnered a chuckle. Sad, I know.

If so inclined, you can also watch all of the ads by quarter through a site put up by AOL Sports. They also have a vote tabulation for the best commercials. I disagree with their number one, but I'm not exactly going on a hunger strike over it. They are just commercials after all, right?

Here Fishy Fishy

2006-02-07T21:24:00.000+01:00

This is the best computer animation I've ever seen. Tell me those sharks and that water don't look stunningly real at times.

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

2006-01-31T16:05:00.000+01:00

So how exactly does one expect life to go after they've done this to themselves? Lots of lucrative job offers? Classy women? Stable home life?

Wouldn't it be great to sit down with this guy over a cup of coffee and discuss the ramifications of Alito's Supreme Court confirmation or the subversive effect Hamas is having in Middle Eastern politics? Maybe ask what he thought of Brokeback Mountain.

Or maybe not.

Waiting For That Other Shoe To Drop

2006-01-26T17:36:00.000+01:00

One of the biggest concerns on every mind over here in Germany is if/when they'll be moved somewhere else because of plans to reduce the U.S. military prescence in Europe.

Well, some details came out today.

Baumholder, where I work, isn't mentioned. Guess I get to stay here a little while longer.

Or maybe they'll announce it's closing tomorrow...

Honk Honk

2006-01-21T11:42:00.000+01:00

Here's the best car commercial you'll see for awhile, courtesy of Honda.

Even More Pretty Pictures / Pretty Sounds

2006-01-20T18:05:00.000+01:00

Another site has decided to go with fifteen more videos than the fifty I linked to the other day.

Check them out at m3 online.

If any of my students from today see this, you might be shocked to find Sigur Ros at the top of this new list. In fact, Sigur Ros are on the list a couple of times. Yes, that Sigur Ros.

Pretty Pictures / Pretty Sounds

2006-01-18T16:25:00.000+01:00

Have some spare time and bandwidth? Then you could do worse than to check out a few of the videos listed on the Docopenhagen list of Top 50 Music Videos of 2005.

Personal faves (when I'm in a romantic mood): The Strokes' "Juice Box" (call me a softie) and Oasis' "Let There Be Love" (very Beatlesque).

Sign Language

2006-01-15T17:42:00.000+01:00

That photo is on the cover of today's Stars and Stripes. It's a picture taken last September of a Marine who'd just been injured in a roadside bombing showing what he thought of the bomber.

Now while I can certainly sympathize with the Marine's feelings at the time and don't blame him for the gesture, I do hope that photo doesn't become the iconic image that everyone remembers this war by. I mean it's certainly not the kiss from World War II, now is it?

You Must Be Kidding Me

2006-01-11T16:52:00.000+01:00

From The Wall Street Journal:

Insisting that God "certainly needs to be involved" in the Supreme Court confirmation process, three Christian ministers today blessed the doors of the hearing room where Senate Judiciary Committee members will begin considering the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito on Monday.

Capitol Hill police barred them from entering the room to continue what they called a consecration service. But in a bit of one-upsmanship, the three announced that they had let themselves in a day earlier, touching holy oil to the seats where Judge Alito, the senators, witnesses, Senate staffers and the press will sit, and praying for each of the 13 committee members by name.

"We did adequately apply oil to all the seats," said the Rev. Rob Schenck, who identified himself as an evangelical Christian and as president of the National Clergy Council in Washington.

Read more if you can stand it.

As If You Had Free Time

2006-01-10T15:57:00.000+01:00

Got a few minutes, few hours, few days worth of unspent time? Me neither.

But if I did, then I might spend a few of those at goodexperience.com. They've got links to a whole slew of free (!!) online games just ripe for the clicking.

An Engagement

2006-01-06T20:39:00.000+01:00

I don't know what you got for Christmas, but I got engaged.

Marcela and I have decided to get married sometime much later this year -- probably between Christmas and the new year. Exact time and place are up in the air. Suggestions are welcome.

And for the record, yes, I did plan-out a really cute / semi-elaborate proposal, and yes, that plan went all to hell. It's a funny story, and if you get us a nice wedding gift, you'll get to hear it. I might even tell it to you anyway because it makes me look like an awfully sweet guy and Marcela shows that she's very understanding even when the knight in shining armor can't get his act straight.

Oh, and the picture above was taken maybe five minutes after she agreed that spending her life with me wouldn't be such a bad thing. You can probably make out a bit of relief on my face.

The "War" On Christmas

2005-12-14T18:54:00.000+01:00

Lately it seems a whole bunch of Christians feel like the world is against them, and never more so than in the past couple of weeks when several religious groups (and Fox News, or is that being redundant?) have been screaming from the steeple tops that Christmas is under attack by the heathens and must be protected at all costs.

Personally, I can't think of a greater non-issue -- especially with all the genuine issues out there that people should be worried about.

But... if you happen to be one of these folks who honestly think that Christmas is at risk, then please take a few minutes to:

Watch this (amusing)

and

This (hilarious)

and then

Read this (straight to the point)

Thank you for your time. Oh, and Happy Holidays!

Es Un Problema

2005-12-12T16:19:00.000+01:00

So you're in school, but out in the hallway. Someone asks if it is ok if they can borrow a dollar off of you. You answer "No problem."

No problem, right?

Well, it is if you said it in Spanish.

Doesn't Kansas have bigger issues to tackle? For instance whether or not they should teach science in science class? First they want to be labled a bunch of fundies who can't handle evolution. Now they want to be labled a bunch of racist fundies who can't handle evolution.

What next? Vegan racist fundies who can't handle evolution?

Seems Like Only Yesterday

2005-12-11T20:02:00.000+01:00

1546: Number of days since President Bush promised to find Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive."

How many days has it been since you've heard Bush even mention Bin Laden? You hear him talk about 9/11 in nearly ever speech he gives, but never talks about the guy behind it or the search for him.

Odd, don't you think?

Rules Of Engagement

2005-12-10T09:25:00.000+01:00

This sign appears outside of some showers somewhere in Iraq. Nice to know the line clearly has been drawn in the sand, or at least in the shower stalls.

Oh, and if that sign isn't enough to keep a grunt's hands off him or herself, and they happen to be Christian, help is available. My favorite "tool" for overcoming the self-gratification urge:

I. Be accountable to another Christian brother. Call a Christian friend with whom you can fellowship during this time of temptation.

Exactly how would that go?

Yes, hello, Dave? Ummm... I was just in the shower when... well, ... ummm,.... I started to feel,... errr,... Praise the Lord! [click]

We Will, We Will Rap You

2005-12-06T20:03:00.000+01:00

Prepared to be horrified, amused, or intrigued:

Q-Unit: Queen mixed with 50 Cent

Yep. I almost choked on my cookie, too.

You Can't Bank On It

2005-12-05T21:16:00.000+01:00

Ok, I know I've been letting this site down lately, but other things in life have taken up whatever time I had to devote to this. I'm going to try and get back into the blogging swing of things, but bear with me. My free time isn't nearly as much as it used to be.

That said, something that is taking up precious moments of my life lately is the inordinate amount of bogus emails I get everyday. None worse than the fake Paypal and Bank of America emails asking me to verify my account info. Luckily a closer look at those emails show typos and poor graphics that give them away as something not likely sent by any real business.

As much as I'm ticked off at the scum who send me those emails, I'm just as ticked off at Paypal, and especially my bank, Bank of America, for not alerting their customers to these new emails. How long would it take to send out a warning about this through email or the post? Not long at all, but in the meantime, some of their less savvy clients are no doubt falling victim to the scammers. Bad, bad Paypal and Bank of America. While I don't expect the ruler of Nigeria to help me with some guidance through the crapload of emails I get from his people, I wouldn't mind B of A letting me know that they know about the scam and are on it.

And oh, I don't have their permisson to use that logo at the top of this article, but since they don't seem to be too troubled by the scamming emails, I'm sure my little site isn't going to get their panties in a twist, either.

Related links:

Low-tech Organizing

2005-11-10T07:57:00.000+01:00

If your life is in bad need of organization, but a Palm PDA or Pocket PC is just a bit too intimidating, a laptop too cumbersome, or a desktop too desktoppy, then there is a low-tech solution:

The PocketMod.

Design. Print. Fold. Live.

Batteries not needed.

As Luck Would Have It

2005-11-09T13:24:00.000+01:00

Try this:

Go to Google.

Type in the word Failure.

Click the button that says "I'm Feeling Lucky."

Enjoy.

Another Revamped Trailer

2005-10-03T20:27:00.000+02:00

If you thought yesterday's trailer for The Shining was good, check out the horror film that the light-weight West Side Story has been turned into.

Here's the story of how both trailers came to be.

Lesson Learned

2005-10-03T19:23:00.000+02:00

So we can all rest assured that Bush, after the whole Katrina fiasco, would never hire or nominate someone to a very important federal position without that person having both the qualifications and experience to get the job done, right? He'd never make the same mistake he made with the FEMA head who had no experience with emergency services, right?

Or maybe not.

But then, it doesn't say anywhere that someone who'll be a judge on the Supreme Court should have any experience being a judge, does it? And she was the head of the Texas Lottery for five years. That's gotta count for something.

Picture This

2005-10-02T11:47:00.000+02:00

Here are ten nifty science photos that'll tinker with your head a little.

The Feel Good Movie Of The Year

2005-10-02T11:33:00.000+02:00

Perhaps the most chilling book I've ever read is Stephen King's The Shining, and perhaps the most chilling movie I've ever seen is Stanley Kubrick's film version of that book. Even twenty-five years or so after I first saw it, I stuill can't walk down an empty hotel hallway at night without picturing those twins or the door slightly cracked open.

That said, perhaps I've been looking at the book and the film all wrong. Perhaps I've totally missed the heart of King's story and the tenderness of Kubrick's vision.

Maybe The Shining was meant as a chick flick all along. (9.5mb)

Now I'll never see that movie in quite the same way again.

They Said It. They Really Did.

2005-09-10T14:08:00.000+02:00

Here are ten incredibly stupid things said after Hurricane Katrina (courtesy of About.com):

1) "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." –President Bush, on "Good Morning America," Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina (Source)

2) "What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them." –Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the Hurricane flood evacuees in the Houston Astrodome, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)

3) "It makes no sense to spend billions of dollars to rebuild a city that's seven feet under sea level....It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed." –House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), Aug. 31, 2005 (Source)

4) "We've got a lot of rebuilding to do ... The good news is — and it's hard for some to see it now — that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house — he's lost his entire house — there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch." (Laughter) —President Bush, touring hurricane damage, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)

5) "Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." –FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

6) "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." –President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring Hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)

7) "I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center who don't have food and water." –Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, on NPR's "All Things Considered," Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

8) "Well, I think if you look at what actually happened, I remember on Tuesday morning picking up newspapers and I saw headlines, 'New Orleans Dodged the Bullet.' Because if you recall, the storm moved to the east and then continued on and appeared to pass with considerable damage but nothing worse." –Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, blaming media coverage for his failings, "Meet the Press," Sept. 4, 2005 (Source)

9) "I mean, you have people who don't heed those warnings and then put people at risk as a result of not heeding those warnings. There may be a need to look at tougher penalties on those who decide to ride it out and understand that there are consequences to not leaving.” –Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)

10) "You simply get chills every time you see these poor individuals...many of these people, almost all of them that we see are so poor and they are so black, and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold." –CNN's Wolf Blitzer, on New Orleans' hurricane evacuees, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

For fifteen more, click here.

A Lack Of Accountability

2005-09-06T16:07:00.000+02:00

What continues to bother me most about the on-going tragedy of the hurricane is the complete lack of accountability in the administration. No one is stepping forward to admit that even with all the money thrown into homeland security and preparation for a major terrorist attack, the government was completely impotent and unable to mount anything approaching an adequate response to this disaster. Most third world countries do a better job of covering for their own.

But will anyone admit they've screwed up? Will anyone in the Bush administration admit they haven't prepared for a major disaster? Will anyone admit they haven't done their job? Will anyone admit that if there was a major terrorist attack somewhere in the US, we'd be screwed just as badly as New Orleans because there is no organized plan to deal with something like that even though you can bet your life lots of folks are pulling huge paychecks to have that plan ready?

What has the head of homeland security had to say about this? Let me paraphrase: We didn't think a big storm could hit the US.

That bit of deep thinking came from the guy in charge who is supposed to plan for a major disaster, either natural or man-made, and be able to bring in the help immediately that those affected will obviously need (food, water, medicine). He failed miserably.

Well, actually he's the second guy in charge. Bush is the one supposedly running the whole show, and it doesn't take two minutes of seeing his act down south to realize he is still struggling to pull up his pants over all of this. Unfortunately there's not an election in the next few weeks. I'm afraid the average American won't remember all this the next time the polls open.

Related link:

Bush's Hurricane Response a Disaster

A Cold, Cruel World

2005-09-06T15:39:00.000+02:00

As I was trying to point out to my AP class today, sometimes the world contains realities harsher than we can imagine, and good won't always be rewarded, and sacrifice won't always be acknowledged. Life sucks that way.

And don't even think about eating those two slices of pizza, buddy. Think about your future.

Alive and Well

2005-09-02T18:11:00.000+02:00

Hi all. I am still alive. Just haven't either had the time or inclination to update the site in the past month or so. I have been busy with getting the new school year started, plus I've just found other ways to use my spare time that haven't included this site. And as with a lot of things, once you stop doing something, it can be very hard to get that ball rolling again.

But I'll try.

Thanks to the folks who have written to check on me. Nice to know that there are some who would take the time to see if I'm still breathing. But don't fret. Nothing is wrong here. Franklin is fine, too.

So, back to my Friday night, which will mostly be taken up with straightening up the house. A guy is coming in the morning to look at painting my bathroom windows upstairs and I have to make the place presentable. Yep, your Friday will probably be much more fun than mine. Saturday morning, too.

Hope all is great with everyone who reads this. I'll try and get back into the swing of this site and update it more. Can't totally let it die, right?

In Vino

2005-08-01T11:20:00.000+02:00

On Saturday we went to our first wine tasting. Sure while Germany may be better known for its beers, it also has a very healthy wine industry, and I happen to live right on the fringes of the German wine producing area. So it makes sense that I should finally dive in and see what all the fuss is about this fancy grape juice.

Marcela and I joined a USO tour of Bernkastel-Kues that also included a trip to a vineyard, Weingut am Rosenberg, along with a dinner and wine tasting. The dinner was great, but what everyone was waiting on were the thirteen wines to be sampled. The dinner was important, though, because if you're going to be drinking thirteen glasses of wine, you need something to soak up all that alcohol.

In between the dinner and the tasting, the owner of the vineyard gave us a thorough explanation of how the grapes are grown and how his family has been producing wine in that area since 1530. In fact, he said his vineyard can produce between 100,000 and 120,000 bottles each year. Facinating stuff, especially if you've ever wondered what it takes to get grapes into those fancy bottles.

Then we went back inside, were presented with the wine list, and the drinks began. Marcela took copious notes on each sample so that we could remember later which ones we liked best, while I remained focused on trying to get through the thirteen glasses without passing out. After awhile I had to use a pitcher that was provided at our table for dumping any wine we just didn't like or couldn't finish. Our tour guide told us that if we drank everything offered that day, it would be over a liter of wine. Way too much for a lightweight like me.

The wines started off with the dry (non-sweet) ones and worked their way up to the more fruity, sweet-tasting varieties. For the most part I leaned toward the sweet wines, with the best (and priciest) being the Eiswein we tried at the end, made with frozen grapes during the winter. Was just about the sweetest liquor I'd ever had in my life, but at around $30 a bottle, not something I'd pick up everytime at the grocery store.

After the thirteen wines, the owner tooks us into the wine cellars to see the casks. Semi-spooky, but very interesting. Then we got to sample a peach schnapps, a cream liquor, and the German version of moonshine. The schnapps was damn tasty, the creamy stuff not to my liking, and the moonshine could strip varnish off an old chair.

In the end we ended up taking home three bottles (while others on the tour took home case loads), and who knows -- we may end up going back for more some day.

Now if we can only find a beer tasting...

Tour de Paris

2005-07-29T21:31:00.000+02:00

For anyone wondering where the hell I've been, Marcela and I spent the early part of this week in Paris. First to witness the end of the Tour de France, and then to do a little shopping and exploring of the parts of Paris (especially the food) we didn't see the first time around last summer.

The last day of the Tour de France was a whole lot of waiting (six hours) for the racers to arrive on the Champs-Elysees and then watch them zoom by sixteen times on their eight laps around central Paris. So how did we kill six hours? Thumb wars! That and watching a jumbo screen placed near the finish line which showed the progress of the final stage as they approached the city.

Around 4pm, the peloton showed up and the crowds lining the avenue pushed forward to catch glimpses of their favorite riders. Just picking out someone, like Lance Armstrong, wasn't all that easy because they raced by at an amazing pace. But we had our sixteen chances and I managed to get at least one photo of Mr. Armstrong as he passed our vantage point. Marcela's one and only shot was somewhat less than successful. She did get part of a wheel at least.

We were pretty close to the finish line and could just barely make-out the riders that made it onto the podium. Even made a short video of the end of the anthem played in Armstrong's honor. Sorry for the crap quality. My camera only does so much.

Other highlights of the week:

The Pantheon: Basically an elaborate crypt for famous dead Parisians like Voltaire and Victor Hugo, with a great view of the Paris skyline at the top.
Shopping: Marcela's new favorite place to shop is the Galaries Lafayette where she rediscovered her love of Zara.
Centre Pompidou: The modern art mecca of Paris. Best part was before we even stepped in. Marcela got into it with the pigeons. Here's a video of another pigeon episode.
Gli Angeli: Great, great Italian restaurant. Don't have any pictures or a link to any website, but it was great. On rue St-Gilles if you can find it.

So now we're still recuperating from the five days we spent there. Next up on Marcela's visit is a trip up to Bernkastel-Kues tomorrow where dinner at a winery awaits. It's our attempt at sophistication. More about that on Sunday.

If You Don't Care Who Sits On The Supreme Court

2005-07-20T07:55:00.000+02:00

After making my last post, I got to thinking: not everyone cares about politics. Why the hell should I alienate my readers who are into just enjoying life and not being burdened by these huge issues? These issues are not only hard to grasp, but can also detract from what is important in life -- namely mindles entertainment.

So in that spirit, here's your mindless entertainment for the day. Enjoy.

Sit Back And Enjoy

2005-07-20T07:21:00.000+02:00

Now that Bush has made his nominee announcement for the Supreme Court, here are a few things you'll hear going into the battle over whether or not he gets to actually replace O'Connor:

"American values"
"Roe v. Wade"
"Strict Constitutionalist"

You're going to hear those three things until your ears bleed. Kinda like how the word filibuster still makes me feel a little nauseated after the last battle over judges. Come to think of it, you're going to hear the word filibuster an awful lot, too.

But for those of us who are going to stick it out, let's be clear. The first and last are catch-phrases that don't really mean anything. They just sound good. The second is what the coming fight is actually about: abortion. Conservatives can try and tie the nominee to bullet-points one and three until their heads turn blue, but it is actually about point two. Liberals will probably focus only on point two and pretty much ignore anything else about this guy, which is a mistake.

No matter which side of the abortion issue you're on, this will be entertaining. A big batle over this has been brewing for thirty years. Anything less than Howard Dean and Rush Limbaugh in a cage-match to settle it all will be a huge letdown.

Pulp Fiction Redux

2005-07-18T16:42:00.000+02:00

Here's one of the best movies ever, Pulp Fiction, in thirty seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

And here's an audio commercial for the editted for TV version.

That's Gotta Hurt

2005-07-14T08:35:00.000+02:00

She falls.

And falls.

And falls.

If she gets stuck, use your mouse to help her fall some more.

Sign Of The Apocalypse: The Press Doings Its Job

2005-07-13T13:40:00.000+02:00

Finally some members of the press realized they had a job to do and began hammering away at the White House for answers on the whole Rove-is-a-traitor-to-this-country thing.

Here's a video of it all. Just have to get past the press secretary's introductory remarks to get into the good stuff. Goes well with popcorn and a beer.

Best part:

Q: Scott, can I ask you this: Did Karl Rove commit a crime?
MCCLELLAN: Again, David, this is a question relating to an ongoing investigation, and you have my response related to the investigation. And I don't think you should read anything into it other than: We're going to continue not to comment on it while it's ongoing.
Q: Do you stand by your statement from the fall of 2003, when you were asked specifically about Karl and Elliot Abrams and Scooter Libby, and you said, "I've gone to each of those gentlemen, and they have told me they are not involved in this"?
MCCLELLAN: And if you will recall, I said that, as part of helping the investigators move forward on the investigation, we're not going to get into commenting on it. That was something I stated back near that time as well.
Q: Scott, this is ridiculous. The notion that you're going to stand before us, after having commented with that level of detail, and tell people watching this that somehow you've decided not to talk. You've got a public record out there. Do you stand by your remarks from that podium or not?
MCCLELLAN: I'm well aware, like you, of what was previously said. And I will be glad to talk about it at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is when the investigation...
Q: (inaudible) when it's appropriate and when it's inappropriate?
MCCLELLAN: If you'll let me finish.
Q: No, you're not finishing. You're not saying anything. You stood at that podium and said that Karl Rove was not involved. And now we find out that he spoke about Joseph Wilson's wife. So don't you owe the American public a fuller explanation. Was he involved or was he not? Because contrary to what you told the American people, he did indeed talk about his wife, didn't he?
MCCLELLAN: There will be a time to talk about this, but now is not the time to talk about it.

But then again, the public at large has no clue what this is about and won't give a damn as long as the next season of American Idol begins on time. That and the Republican are circling the wagons around Rove quicker than Bush can forget he promised he'd fire whoever was behind the leak.

Mailbag

2005-07-13T13:19:00.000+02:00

Here's an open letter to the terrorists involved in the London bombings last week.

Another Why

2005-07-13T10:52:00.000+02:00

Just saw Collateral (yeah, I know -- a year after anyone else. I was busy.), and besides some obvious questions like why the hell would Vincent still drive around in a busted up cab that draws all sorts of attention to itself instead of just getting another cab and driver, I have another question: if he's already killed all the witnesses, why does he have to kill the lawyer, too? No witnesses, no case, right?

This makes less sense than the rock, paper, scissors thing.

Why?

2005-07-13T10:47:00.000+02:00

Question: Why does paper beat rock? I understand that scissors beat paper because it can cut it, and I understand that rock beats scissors because scissors can't cut through a rock or the rock just bangs the hell out of the scissors, but how exactly does paper beat rock by simply covering it?

Questions like this consume too much of my time during the summer months.

Dam Good Time

2005-07-10T20:04:00.000+02:00

So I finally made it to Amsterdam this weekend. Got to see all that you think of when you picture Amsterdam, namely canals, windmills, marijuana and whores.

Oh, and we also visited the Anne Frank House, took a bus ride around the city, toured the Rijksmuseum, floated through the canals, and walked through the red light district. Twice.

Highlights included:

The Sea Palace Restuarant: A floating chinese resturant that serves great, great food. Pricey, but good.
The boat houses: They ranged from trashy to adorable. Makes me almost want to move into one. Almost.
Bikes: Never seen so many people on bicycles in my life. Two-wheeler heaven.
French fries and mayonnaise: Saw lots of folks munching away on them, so I had to try it. To my surprise, I kinda liked it.
The Anne Frank House: Brings the horrors of World War II home, so to speak.
The coffee shops: Watching folks sip coffee and roll their joints bordered on quaint.

Overall Amsterdam was great and definitely a place I'd recommend to anyone who wants a town with a healthy sense of history and a live and let live attitude toward life

Amsterdam Trip Photo Gallery

Zurich & Munich

2005-07-07T18:01:00.000+02:00

Spent the last few days on a drive south into Switzerland and Bavaria. Much of the trip was spent dodging raindrops, but overall was a sucess -- Munich, especially. It may now become my favorite German city.

My mom and I had originally planned a trip to Interlaken instead of Munich, hoping to end up on top of Jungfrau. But with the dodgey weather, we opted for the safer option of heading for the Bavarian capital. Turned out to be a good choice.

First Zurich. It rained and rained, but we did get a good Swiss/German meal out of it. I'm sure Zurich is a lovely city, and I'm sure the views of the lake are spectacular, but I won't know until I return because we couldn't see much because of the weather. Stayed at the Park Inn hotel by the Zurich airport, which has a McDonald's theme going. You haven't lived till you've dozed off with the Golden Arches serving as your headboard.

Munich was much better, both in weather and scenery. Though it rained off and on the afternoon and evening that we got there, the next morning awoke without a cloud in the sky. Ended up retaking many of the pictures I'd shot the night before just because of the improved lighting. Took a bus tour around the city with a trip to Schloss Nymphenburg, the summer palace of the Bavarian royal family. The jaw-dropper of that trip is the portrait gallery that Ludwig I made of his mistresses or other young girls that caught his eye. Imagine being his wife and having to walk through that room.

We explored much of the rest of the old town part of Munich around Marienplatz. Had a light dinner and a HUGE glass of beer at the world famous Hofbrauhaus. Followed that up with another beer across the street at the Hard Rock Cafe.

Next day was spent re-exploring the area with a climb up one of the Frauenkirche towers for its commanding view of Munich. Well worth the three euro fee. Then we watched the 11am clock tower show at the Neus Rathaus while sitting at one of the outdoor cafes in the Marienplatz. Then we hoofed it on over to a quick tour of the luxurious Residenz, where Bavarian royalty spent their time during most of the year. If you ever plan on seeing the Residenz, be prepared to do a lot of walking.

Then we packed up and drove up to Dachau to see the concentration camp memorial site. That was a sobering experience, though slightly detracted by noisy and disrespectful high school kids out there on field trips. Some of their behavior was shocking based upon where they were at. For instance what kind of kid takes pictures of themselves throwing gang signs in front of barracks where thousands of prisoners of war starved to death? Never saw any of their teachers or parents say a word to them. In some ways that was more depressing than the exhibitions.

So now that I've finally been to Munich, I can't wait to go back. I'm already trying to figure out when I can squeeze it in before the end of summer. August is looking good.

Tomorrow we leave for Amsterdam.

Photo Gallery of the trip.

Pink Floyd at Live 8

2005-07-03T18:13:00.000+02:00

Pretty much watched the whole London concert with a few skips over to the Philadelphia, Berlin, or Paris feeds. BBC was great in the coverage they had. From what I'm reading online about how MTV butchered the telecast of Live 8, I'm very, very glad I wasn't trying to watch it back in the states.

The highlight for me was seeing Pink Floyd reunite last night. I saw the Rogerless version of the Floyd back in 1994 and it is still the best concert I've ever seen. Saw Roger Waters on his own a few years ago, and while that show didnt' come close to the 3/4 Pink Floyd of the early 90's, it still was better than 95% of the crap out on tour now. But from what I've read, MTV cut away from the Pink Floyd set last night to show some VJ talking and then went to commercials. If anyone reading this still thinks MTV is worth watching, that should settle the issue once and for all. MTV hasn't been worth watching for over a decade, and the fact that a "music" channel cuts away from one of the biggest moments in music history says it all.

Here are some of the comments posted on Fark in their Live 8 message board last night right when MTV decided the "M" stands for Money if not music.

2005-07-02 06:21:47 PM hollywood_town_hall

MTV must die.

2005-07-02 06:21:49 PM LineNoise

HOLY shiat. SOMEONE AT MTV IS GOING TO DIE

god bless you AOL.

2005-07-02 06:21:54 PM chug

Not a Floyd fan. Never seen them play before.But I must say I'm impressed. They sound damn good...especially the dude who's playing the guitar solos and singing. I'm guessing that's Gilmour.

Oh good. The veejays are now talking over Comfortably Numb. Thanks so much for that.

2005-07-02 06:21:56 PM barneyfifesbullet

HA HA HAGoddamn MTV/VH1, you truly sealed your legacy today.

2005-07-02 06:22:00 PM theborishone

Damn MTV VJ's

2005-07-02 06:22:02 PM wydok

AAAAHHHHHH!!!! SHUT UP SHUT UPStupid farking DJs

2005-07-02 06:22:05 PM kanesays

DOES THIS DUMB CNUT THINK I CARE WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY?

2005-07-02 06:22:05 PM sparky828

SHUT THE FARK UP STUPID VJS!

2005-07-02 06:22:29 PM Cerie

shut biatch!I knew it! I just farking knew it! MTV you farking suck azz you shiatty farking bastards! Who is farking producing this 14 years olds!

2005-07-02 06:23:19 PM spacin007

cue the dip5hit vj's

2005-07-02 06:23:21 PM mcwilson

SHUT THE FARK UP STUPID GIRL! I hate the DJ people...

2005-07-02 06:23:53 PM ChickenGeorgeVII

nope....there they go....way to go MTV....

/would they cut off bee-noyce?

2005-07-02 06:24:08 PM SuburbanCowboy

You have to be f'ing kidding me.The only possible explanation for this is that they can't legally show the whole set.

Or else Mtv just sucks c worse than any network in history

2005-07-02 06:24:30 PM The Traveling Retard

HLLY SHIAT- I CAN NOT BELIEVE THEY WENT TO COMMERCIAL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FARKING SONG!!!!!

2005-07-02 06:25:02 PM Discordian36

I cannot believe they just cut off the end of comfortably numb.

MTV: You get an F for this telecast.

DIPSHIATS.

2005-07-02 06:25:03 PM PoTBoT

OH NO THEY DIDNT!

2005-07-02 06:25:10 PM twobux

Nice of MTV to cut away from Pink Floyd. Thanks, asshats.

2005-07-02 06:25:37 PM FoamyIsKing

Stupid vj . I think my head is going to explode with rage >.< . The vj biatch interupted comfortably numb.

2005-07-02 06:25:38 PM Peaceboy

Unbelievable. Maybe the greatest rock and roll moment of the last 15-20 years, and they completely fark it all up. Unbelievable.

Quick Movie Review

2005-07-01T21:03:00.000+02:00

The War of the Worlds: Dumb.